Posted in Public Service Announcement, Recommendations, Things That Make Me Angry

Foolproof Way to Get Out of Speeding Tickets

Ladies and Gentlemen, today is your lucky day. I am going to share with you a secret that is guaranteed to prevent speeding tickets.

How do I know it always works? I have an uncle in the business.

Don’t speed.

The causal chain is obvious here. If you don’t speed, then you won’t get a speeding ticket.

Now I hear you grumbling. The speed limit should be higher on that road, or you’re running late for work, or you were just going the same speed as everyone else, or a myriad of excuses.

Ok, whatever. But don’t complain about the officer who gave you the ticket. He’s not the one in the wrong. It is no more the police officer’s fault that you are given a speeding ticket than it is a librarian’s fault that you have an overdue fine.

Driving is actually a lot like checking out books from the library. Library cards are issued with the understanding that you will follow the policies and return the books on or before the due date. And if you don’t, then you will pay a fine. Driver’s licenses are issued with the understanding that you will obey traffic laws, including the posted speed limits. And if you don’t, then you will pay a fine. The responsibility rests entirely with you.

But, you argue, there’s a big difference between a $0.20 library fine and at $200 spending ticket. Justly so. If you don’t return your books on time, it might annoy the person next in line for them, but it shouldn’t kill anyone. However, speed is often a determining factor in whether an accident results in fatalities.

There are many better things you could be doing with that $200. Don’t speed.